Shine A Light
by Angel Veins
Summary: It isn't easy to accept yourself; Nozomi learned that right from the start. My Love Live Big Bang submit, check the tumblr for art and other works.


A/N: Hi everyone! This is my writing piece for the Love Live Big Bang 2016 on Tumblr. Most of you might know what it is, but for those that don't it's basically a fandom thing where a writer and an artist get paired up to create a writing piece with art based off of it. You can check the tumblr for details, and to see everyone else's wonderful work!

Unfortunately my partner, marine-nozo, has been loaded with lots of school stuff and hasn't been able to complete the art part of the project yet, but I'm sure it'll be up later in the week at some point :) You can keep an eye on their tumblr blog or the LL Big Bang blog to check when it's up.

I won't keep you all any longer, so enjoy!

...

The first few years of your life are usually the easiest. Everything is shiny and new to you, and when you accomplish the smallest things (like your first steps, or entering kindergarten or middle school) you feel like you are on top of the world. Your parents praise you and you think the world is butterflies, sunshine and rainbows.

Then comes the harsh times in life. You start to grow up, and with that you start to discover yourself. Everything you thought you knew about yourself gets on the next train available and leaves you stranded with a head spinning full of ideas, newfound facts and scary realisations. You start to question every little thing about yourself, or you wonder how you missed something that seemed so obvious now. Other things aren't so easy, like discovering your sexuality.

When you first discover that you might like someone of the same gender, some people freak out and quickly dismiss the thought like it never even surfaced and carry on like normal. Other people hold on to the thought and later cherish it as they come to learn of other people just like them and decide who they are in that category. It can bring turmoil to lots of people. It's never easy to say what you think, especially when you decide and want the people you love to know or just so you can get it off your chest. The reactions vary however; you will either be welcomed as who you are, or you may have to go through great lengths to be happy with yourself and try to coax others into being happy with your choices as well. It's one of the hardest times in your life, and you'll either get it rough or be able to sigh in relief at the fact that you are still loved.

...

Nozomi never had a good start to her life like that at all. After she was born, she got ill very quickly and had to be kept in the hospital for at least another two weeks or so to monitor her condition. This devastated her parents who just wanted to take their new firstborn baby girl home. But alas, there was nothing they could do.

It was touch and go for the better part of those two weeks, and the doctors and nurses were sure Nozomi wasn't going to pull through. But Mrs Tojo refused to accept that she could lose her baby and placed all of her hope into her firstborn surviving. And it worked. It was a true miracle and when the doctor announced that Nozomi would pull through, Mrs Tojo thanked the heavens as she and her husband held each other and cried with relief, overlooking Nozomi's cot where the little girl lay wrapped in white cotton and kicking her cute little legs with a tiny grin on her face. It was in that moment that the couple knew exactly what to call their daughter, and Nozomi was officially brought into the world.

The next few months that followed Nozomi's birth were both wonderful and hectic for the Tojo couple, now parents. They ran a popular business which they hoped to build upon and branch out along Japan which meant that they had to travel a lot for their work, but they had suspended their next trip when Mrs Tojo reached the fifth month of her pregnancy so they could settle down and get ready for the arrival of their baby. But now that they had a moment to sit down whilst Nozomi lay asleep upstairs in her cot inside her new bedroom, they realised that they never considered what they would do next. Well, they had brought it up before when the employee they had asked to take care of the business in their absence asked when they would be back, but they never reached a stable conclusion. They didn't want to pull Nozomi away from her home that she barely even knew, but they couldn't exactly leave her behind as they had no relatives in the area to take care of her and they weren't prepared to give up their business; their only source of income.

"What should we do?" Mrs Tojo asked and Mr Tojo, who was sitting beside her with his laptop open with the email asking when they would return on the screen, looked up into his wife's eyes and sighed.

"We only have one choice, don't we?" They both looked down at the screen again and Mrs Tojo nodded in agreement. And as the next week that followed consisted of packing suitcases once more, Mrs Tojo rocked Nozomi in her arms as the feeling that her daughter would never be able to settle in one place as a child took over her mind.

Nozomi grew up extremely fast, which impressed her parents who unfortunately couldn't spend all the time they wanted with their growing daughter. At first they regretted leaving Nozomi by herself at home from the age of five, but after seeing how mature she was, part of their doubts left their mind though they asked their kind neighbour to keep an eye on the girl.

Due to all the time she got alone, Nozomi had plenty of time to learn about the world she was constantly travelling. There were so many facts and things to be discovered, and she felt so much joy- she believed that the world truly was beautiful.

Nozomi grew and grew and soon she reached the stage in life where everything came crashing down around her.

The Tojo family managed to settle in a large city on the outskirts of Tokyo, Mr and Mrs Tojo determined to start up another branch of their business there which would take a few years at least. It was now the time for Nozomi to start middle school, and the little girl was excited beyond belief. Mrs Tojo braided her daughter's hair and walked her all the way to the entrance of the class. Nozomi didn't cry like most of the other children surrounding her as all their mothers and fathers left them in the hands of their teacher that smiled sweetly and played games with them all day long. Most of the games were in groups or pairs to make new friends and as the day went on, Nozomi found that no one would come near her unless they were asked politely to, almost as if no one wanted to be her friend...

Days turned to weeks which later turned to months and Nozomi found herself sitting in the farthest corner of the room staring at the happy groups of little boys and girls playing with each other, sharing their toys and laughing... She turned back to her pathetic pile of cracked crayons and slightly bent paper where she was holding hands with a few girls and boys in the class and spinning in a circle with a smile on her face. Nozomi bit her lip harshly, tears gathering at the corner of her eyes and she picked up the paper and crumpled it fiercely in one fist before throwing it perfectly into the trash can beside her. She turned away from it and brought her knees up to her chest and buried her face in them so no one would see her tears. Not like anyone would care anyway.

Soon Nozomi reached age nine, and her parents decided it was time to move on from this area. Their next destination was Tokyo where they had lots of plans for the future of their business, but in order to make it work, they would have to leave again. Mrs Tojo spoke to Nozomi about it one night, gently for she thought Nozomi would be upset at leaving all her friends, her school and her roots behind, but her daughter didn't even flinch and just nodded. It was as if she wanted to leave. Mrs Tojo never asked why, and they left that weekend. Mr Tojo asked if Nozomi wanted to make any last stops at her friends' houses to bid them farewell, but Nozomi just sunk down in the backseat and shook her head. Her parents exchanged worried glances but they didn't say a word and set off for Tokyo, the removal vans following behind them.

To say the least, Tokyo was a fresh start for Nozomi and she was amazed by the wonderful sights and people that surrounded her. It was flashy and bright, just like how she had viewed the world before her unfortunate start at middle school. But that was all in the last for her, and she smiled out of the window, admiring the green scenery and the way the sun seemed to smile down on her at her fresh start.

Things were easy enough from then on; the Tojo family settled into their small but homey apartment, Nozomi started a new middle school where she fit in and was happy there and for a while things were as perfect as they could be for the year that simply flew by. It seemed like Tokyo really was the city of change and fresh starts. And true to that description, something did change.

The first time Nozomi seen Reika Mizuno, she started to feel strange. At first, Nozomi wondered if she was sick as her stomach fluttered in a weird way and her heartbeat quickened unhealthily.

She was half way to the nurse's office during break when she stopped when she heard two students talking in the corridor. She recognised them as her upperclassmen (both popular and pretty girls), and she couldn't help but listen into what they were talking about. And what she discovered shocked her to the very core.

"Have you seen the new transfers yet?" One asked. The other nodded.

"Yeah, Hikaru and Reika Mizuno, right? Hikaru's in our year, isn't he?"

"Yup, and good thing too. He's so cute, but hot at the same time, you know? I can't wait to get closer to him this year!"

"Me too! Ahh~ When I first spotted him at the school entrance, my stomach fluttered and my legs felt weak and I couldn't take my eyes off him. I think I'm in love~"

"Haha, don't get ahead of yourself, Sora-chan. He's mine,"

"You wish, Yumi-chan! Let's see who gets to him first!"

"You're on! Just watch your weak legs now!"

"Hey!" The pair walked off and Nozomi sagged against the wall, out of sight as thoughts swirled around her packed mind. She had felt those things earlier when she had seen Reika; the stomach fluttering, the weak legs, unable to take her eyes off of her... The older girl, Sora, had mentioned love, so did that mean that Nozomi was in love with Reika..? No, that wasn't possible. Nozomi had seen enough Disney films, read enough stories and seen lots of couples on the streets to know that love was always between a boy and a girl, never a girl or a girl. So why did she feel this way...? She decided to ask her best friend about it, because surely she would be able to help her out in this time of confusion. Nodding her head, she turned and walked down the corridor towards her classroom, not aware of the distress she was about to cause...

Nozomi waited until the teacher left the class momentarily to attend to an issue in another classroom, before turning to her best friend who was conveniently sat at the desk bedside her (the seating plan was organized based on surname), and telling her about her problem. "Hey, Ai-chan?"

"Yes, Nozomi-chan?" Ai Tamura asked her friend who looked strangely scared and confused. The purple haired girl gulped, her eyes wandering to the front of the classroom where Reika Mizuno sat laughing with her new friends. Her heart beat quickly and her stomach fluttered at the sight of the beautiful young girl and a small blush took over Nozomi's cheeks.

"Nozomi-chan? What was it you wanted again?" Ai snapped her back into reality and then Nozomi spoke her mind.

"I-I keep feeling weird around Mizuno-San..."

"What? Did she do something to you?" Ai was quick to jump the gun and Nozomi shook her head.

"No... My stomach feels funny, and my heart beats faster around her and just before class I heard some upperclassmen talking and from what they were saying, I-I think I'm in love with Mizuno-San," Nozomi finished, looking at her friend to receive an answer or at least see her reaction. But what she saw shocked her: Ai's face was a picture of horror and she looked like she wanted to get as far away from Nozomi as possible.

"You what?!" Ai's shriek caught everyone's attention and Nozomi shrank a little in her seat. But it was about to get a lot worse. "You're in love with Mizuno-San?!" Gasps resounded around the quiet classroom and eyes widened as they locked on the source of the disturbance. Nozomi's eyes were wider than them all at both Ai's reaction and everyone else's. She didn't understand the problem, but it must be pretty severe based on the reactions.

"You love Mizuno-San?!" One voice shouted out.

"Ew, she's a girl though!"

"That's gross!"

"That's so wrong!"

"Nozomi-San loves Mizuno-San!"

Nozomi felt like shrinking, or curling up into a tiny ball and disappearing off the face of the Earth, especially when her eyes met Reika Mizuno's, the cause of all this. A glimmer of hope shot through her at the thought that maybe Reika would understand and wouldn't act like the rest of their classmates, but that glimmer became nonexistent when Reika's normally bright blue eyes turned cold and utter disgust displayed on her beautiful features. She didn't say a word, and she didn't have to to show what she felt, and tears gathered at the sides of Nozomi's eyes. She never imagined it would turn out like this.

"All right class, let's continue where we left off," The teacher suddenly returned, and the chants and shouts dwindled away to nothing, though they certainly weren't forgotten because as soon as the teacher restarted the lesson, the whispers and murmurs started; all about her and her 'gross' interest. And amongst the piercing judgmental stares, the whispers that were deafening on her ears, Nozomi glanced beside her and noticed that Ai's chair was as far away as possible from her. She looked at her best friend's face, hoping that it was just a coincidence, but when Ai briefly met her gaze with once gentle eyes as cold as ice, there was no denying that she was alone...

...

"Nozomi..."

"Nozomi..."

"Nozomi?!"

"Hm?" Nozomi blinked back into reality slowly, vaguely hearing a voice calling her name from her right side, and she turned to face where the direction the smooth voice was coming from. She met slightly concerned crystal blue eyes and she smiled at her girlfriend, all previous thoughts forgotten.

"Sorry, Elicchi, what's up?" She asked, as she had been unaware of what she had been asked or spoken to about. The beautiful blonde before her rolled her eyes, the concerned look disappearing to make way for a loving twinkle that widened Nozomi's smile and created the same twinkle in her eyes.

"Geez, Nozomi, I was trying to get your attention for at least five minutes. Were you daydreaming again?" Eli asked, putting her hands on her hips. Nozomi opened her mouth to reply yes with a sheepish grin, even though what she had been thinking about was not considered a dream for her at all, rather a nightmare than anything else, but she went with her first answer. Eli rolled her eyes again, and instead of the usual lecture she would give their petite Raven friend that seemed to be nowhere in sight about focusing on class, Nozomi was given a soft smile to accompany a soft voice that was music to her ears.

"You really shouldn't daydream; exams are coming up and I wouldn't want you to fail," The blonde looked slightly worried at her own words, at the thought of Nozomi failing important exams, and Nozomi felt warmth flood her body at the sight of seeing the blonde visibly worried about her. It completely melted her heart that someone cared so much for her. There used to be someone like that, but that was a long time ago...

"I'll try my best, Elicchi," The purple haired girl replied as cheerfully as she could, pushing all other thoughts to the back of her mind for the moment. Eli nodded in obvious approval and then seemed to remember something.

"Oh yeah, I was asking if you wanted to go for parfaits just now? I'm in the mood for chocolate and I've already eaten the bar you gave me this morning," The taller girl looked slightly embarrassed to say it, but Nozomi wasn't focused on the blonde's reddening cheeks as much as she would usually be and instead turned to the clock. Since when had the bell went? It was also in that moment she noticed that all of her classmates had filed out of the classroom, even the teacher, and that she and Eli were the only ones remaining. How could she have missed that?

Well, Eli did have the ability to make Nozomi feel like there was no one else in the room, and it was becoming a habit to lose interest in anyone and anything else.

"Nozomi? Are you seriously daydreaming again, right in front of me?" Nozomi turned away from the clock and back to her girlfriend who was looking rather annoyed at basically being ignored yet again. Turquoise eyes gleamed with laughter as the purple haired girl stood up and bent down to pick up her bag before fixing the straps over her shoulder and turning to the still pouting blonde. She couldn't keep the smile off her face. "I'm sorry, Elicchi. Now, how about we go and get those parfaits?"

The pout disappeared from Eli's face at the mention of her favourite treat (next to just plain chocolate of course) and her eyes lit up with that childish innocence and excitement that made Nozomi's heart melt. She just wished that her eyes could hold such a glimmer like that...

"Are you coming, Nozomi?"

"Hm?" The purple haired girl looked towards the classroom door where Eli was already waiting, that loving and patient smile on her face as usual that drew Nozomi closer to her if possible. She smiled back and made her way through the desks and chairs to get to her girlfriend who waited for her.

"Ready?" The blonde asked and Nozomi nodded.

"Yup,"

"Then let's go," Eli turned to leave and Nozomi followed right behind her. It was a familiar scene, one that Nozomi had been part of even when she younger; always following after someone... No, now was not the time to think about the past! And that's what swirled around in Nozomi's mind as she quickly rushed after her girlfriend to the main entrance.

...

She walked down the busy pristine corridors, the white so bright it was almost blinding. Her footsteps were small and inaudible, though they would always be compared to the loud chatter that she had never been a part of.

Things had changed drastically since that fateful day that she had explained her new found crush on the new girl who had just transferred into her year. Classmates that once used to smile at her and wave kindly now glared at her between hurtful whispers and ignored as best they could, seniors that once used to smile at her fondly stared at her like she was crazy, but they didn't matter to Nozomi as much as two other people did. That day was also the day she lost her best friend Ai Tamura, the one she had thought she could trust and treasured so much only to be betrayed in the end. After all, Ai was the person who started it all, though Nozomi could never find it in herself to properly blame her. It was simply shock that had caused Ai's voice to raise and attract nearby unwanted attention; it wasn't deliberate, though nowadays it seemed like Ai preferred it that way.

She cradled her book closer to her chest that held a hammering heart, and walked slowly towards the library where she often found herself retreating to when it all got too much. The library was quiet, a place of utter tranquility and Nozomi deemed it as her sanctuary. She could hide from other students in there, and no one could say anything due to the librarian who came off as strict but was actually one of the nicest people Nozomi had ever met. Whenever Nozomi went to the library, the old woman with her floral dress, pearl necklace and soft wrinkled face would smile fondly at her and give her a small mint that she would suck on as she read the latest book that she had been recommended. She loved the library, more than anything. It was the one place that she felt welcome and that she truly belonged...

"Hey, freak!" A sneering voice caused her to look up and she was greeted by the three people that lived to make her life a living hell. Yuki Akiga, a girl in the class just below her that looked like a princess due to her long flowing brown hair and magenta coloured eyes, smirked amusingly as she rested one palm against her chin whilst her arm pressed against her large chest; Ai Tamura, her ex-best friend that started it all and treated her like she was less than dirt now, had her arms crossed with a bitter look on her once gentle and caring face as she glared Nozomi down where she stood. And lastly, Reika Mizuno, the exact girl that had caused Nozomi's problems and she had unknowingly fallen in love with all those months ago. She stood with her hands on her hips, a stern look in her golden eyes as she tousled her ebony coloured hair with one delicate hand. She was the 'centre' of the group ironically, and it made Nozomi feel upset to discover that the girl she had harboured attractions towards wasn't actually who she figured she would be. Reika's appearance was that of an innocent, pretty girl that cared for everyone and made them feel welcome, but she was actually a selfish, horrible person who liked to knock people who were already at their lowest down even further than before and got sick enjoyment out of watching others suffer. Despite this, she fit in well with the rest of her classmates who found it fun to do the same things as her. They were all twisted people, and Nozomi deemed that this school wasn't any better than her old middle school.

"Its rude to ignore someone when they're talking to you, Tojo-San. Didn't your parents ever teach you that?" Reika's voice pierced the purple haired girl's ears brutally, but she didn't move or look up to reply. She would only burst into tears if she did. "Whatever, you're probably hardly worth their time anyway," That last comment struck a chord in Nozomi and she clenched her book tighter than before.

Ever since their settlement in Tokyo, Nozomi's parents had been working more than ever to ensure their company's successful future and to bring in the money they needed. Staying in Tokyo was expensive after all, even for just three people. Because of this however, the little girl never got to spend as much time as she truly wanted to with her beloved parents as they were always too busy for her or out working. It wasn't their fault, that Nozomi knew, but she wished they would stop working so hard for just possibly half a day to spend time with her like she needed in her neglected state.

"Oh, Reika-chan~ You've made her upset~" Yuki sneered with a humorous glint in her eyes. Ai and Reika stared her down with matching smirks, and Nozomi felt her heart curl in on itself at her ex best friend's newfound horridness and her ex crush's twisted ways that had both been revealed to her on that day her secret had been laid out unintentionally to her class. It was preposterous that people could change so quickly; Ai had changed from a sweet, innocent girl to a harsh, moody person and even though Nozomi had never properly spoken to her before, Reika had changed from a chill, captivating transfer student to an unforgiving, twisted person.

"Ha, as if. Someone as disgusting as her doesn't have proper feelings; she just wants to corrupt people and take advantage of them," Reika spat and Ai backed her up.

"Yeah, I can't believe I almost let myself get involved anymore with her,"

Nozomi could feel it; the crippling feeling of being unwanted and unloved digging its way deeper into her heart and mind and before she could even register it, she was tearing away from the group, sprinting down the busy corridors with her book still clutched like a lifeline to her chest. She could feel surrounding students' gazed on her and the three girls' horrible piercing laughs echoed in her ears.

She burst abruptly into the library, and to avoid being noticed by the sweet old librarian who would surely check on her and try to comfort her like she wanted but felt she didn't deserve, she ducked in between the many tall bookcases and crept to the back of the room and hid with her knees pulled up to her chest and her head buried in them as she cried and cried for what felt like hours.

...

"Nozomi?"

"Hm?" Nozomi looked up from the ground to meet Eli's eyes that she expected be filled with love and laughter, but instead was glossed with concern.

"Is something wrong, Nozomi?" The blonde asked with genuine worry, her lips shifting into a thin line at the thought of something being terribly wrong with her girlfriend. The purple haired girl bit her lip beside the blonde. She didn't want to say anything; Eli didn't deserve to be so worried about her and they were supposed to be on a date and having fun, not being stuck with Nozomi's issues about her past. It wasn't worth saying. So she put on a smile and spoke through her teeth.

"I'm fine, Elicchi," She said. Eli didn't look at all convinced, but Nozomi squeezed her hand and the blonde gave in.

"All right... But it feels like something is bothering you... If there is something, please don't be afraid to tell me; I love you so if you have a problem then we should work it put together, ok?" Eli's words felt like tender touches on Nozomi's heart, and for a moment she felt like telling her, but she squashed it down yet again and smiled even wider than before.

"I will. Now let's go inside; I'm craving mango,"

Eli laughed, a warm and bubbly sound to Nozomi's ears, and the two went inside the little local shop that seemed to always be open right when they decided to suddenly drop in. Eli was still laughing even when they were inside, and Nozomi couldn't help but feel a little guilty for lying. She looked down at their intertwined hands and smiled softly. It was for the best.

...

"Are you excited for this afternoon?"

"Of course I am! I can't wait!"

"I'm a little nervous though; standing on that massive stage in front of everyone is gonna be so scary..."

"Haha, you'll be fine, Ami. Just don't shake so much like a leaf, and it'll be over before you know it,"

Nozomi couldn't help but eavesdrop on their conversation. It wasn't exactly possible to avoid; the two girls sat directly in front of her and were always so loud and oblivious. However, it was pleasant to hear a conversation about something that wasn't her, but the event they were discovering was almost as bad. Today was the day she graduated from middle school to high school, and she wasn't as excited as she could have been; she expected her treatment there would probably be even worse as the people there were more brutal and harsh with their words and actions. She had learned rather quickly that she wasn't accepted in her society, but it was easier said than done to change who she was. Besides, it was more than likely that her harsh treatment would just continue even if she did manage to change that aspect about herself.

"All right everyone, turn to the next page in your textbooks and begin questions one to five," Audible groans echoed around the room as well as the slow turning of heavy pages. Nozomi turned her own page and started to complete the questions when she heard a voice from behind her.

"Hey, Ai, are you ready for graduation?" Reika. Before, Nozomi would never have been able to hear her voice, but shortly after the 'incident' Reika had taken it upon herself to ask for a seat change so that she was next to Ai. It was a brutal stab in the heart to witness how welcoming Ai was and how it only took a matter of moments to replace and completely erase Nozomi from the picture when they had spent so much time together. Nozomi had seen Ai as one of those people that were sweet, gentle and would help you through your problems whereas instead she turned out deep down to be cruel and uncaring about things that she was totally against. She wasn't the only however, and Nozomi hadn't even needed to look around the room that day to realize that everyone would change their views on her.

"I think I'm ready; I'm a little nervous, y'know?" Ai replied, and Nozomi could tell she had that small smile on her face that she always used to have. "I was never very excited about the idea when we were younger and I seen the older classes' photos from their graduation in the yearbook. I just said to Nozomi that we'd just pull through..."

At the mention of her name, the purple haired girl froze, pencil stopped above her second to last sum. Reika and Ai seemed to have noticed as the next sentence that she heard was,

"Don't worry, Ai, you'll definitely make it. I wouldn't be so sure about her though; I'm not sure UTX accepts freaks," Reika's voice pierced her, and Nozomi found herself hunching over her desk a little bit, downcast as she tried desperately to stop the tears from forming. Her pencil stayed poised in the air above the last digit; she couldn't find the motivation to finish her sums.

That afternoon she found herself sitting in the large hall with other students of her year group, staring up at a massive stage decorated with red graduation ribbons and a 'congratulations!' banner strung high above the few spotlights. The whole hall was filled to the brim, yet Nozomi still found herself seated at the edge of the fifth row with one empty seat beside her.

"Now, everyone, let us get started with the certificate awarding!" The graduation ceremony had already been going on for at least half an hour, and it had finally reached the point that Nozomi was dreading the most. The director was insistent that every pupil graduating was to go up on stage in front of everyone and stand under the blinding spotlight whilst saying their name and what they had achieved throughout their years at middle school. Honestly, she wasn't the only one that wasn't excited for that certain part, but everyone else was just nervous and a little overwhelmed whilst she was uncomfortable with being alone on a large stage whilst everyone that hated her glared up at her, whispers and mumbles being thrown back and forth between the many rows of occupied chairs.

The minutes went by rather quickly, and the dread sank in piece by piece as pupils were called out and took the stage before returning to their seats amongst the applause and loud cheers. Nozomi couldn't help but feel jealous upon witnessing it happen, as she knew she would get far from that when it was her turn.

"Next up, Tojo Nozomi,"

She could feel the room fall quieter than it had been before, and a million pairs of eyes dissected her piece by piece as she timidly got off her seat and made her way with light footsteps, that still sounded like dropping anvils amongst the silence, to the stage where she was directed to the centre. There she was given a certificate by the director himself, and was pushed into the spotlight to perform her task. The lights were blinding, and she had to refrain from covering her eyes or turning away as quickly as possible, but the lighting was barely an issue when she looked down at all the faces in the audience, immediately greeted with disgust at the realisation of who was on the stage.

"U-Um, I-I'm Nozomi Tojo..a-and I," She could barely speak, but she never even got to finish when the murmurs in the crowd began, small and just above a whisper before escalating into shouts and chants before her. She could make out every individual word and voice clearly, visibly unable to refrain from flinching as they stabbed her heart.

"Haha!"

"Pathetic!"

"Gay!"

"Kissup!"

"Gay!"

"Nozolesbo!"

Her ears burned and all previous words stuck like a rotten lump in her throat as the laminated piece of paper in her hands shook with each tremble of her body. Tears gathered at the corners of her eyes, and throughout the blur she could witness surrounding teachers scolding the pupils and trying to put a stop to the mayhem, even the director, but no one paid heed and the shouts continued, even louder than before. And at that moment, she looked down at a certain corner of the room and made brutal eye contact with three girls that she was very familiar with. Yuki sat twirling her hair with a smirk on her face whilst Ai snickered into her palm, and Reika simply crossed her arms with the wickedness twinkle in her eyes that even under the blinding lights Nozomi could see.

Unable to bear it any longer, she turned and sprinted for the stairs. She ran straight past the director, who barely took any notice upon still trying to calm the audience, and hurtled towards the hall doors, pushing them open with immediate strength before running straight out of the hall and then the school gates. It was all right; no one would notice her anyway. She had always been ignored; why would it be any different this time?

...

"You want your usual, right?"

"Hm?" Nozomi met Eli's eyes, and upon looking around, only then did she realise that they had entered their favourite parlour and Eli was directing her to their usual booth, isolated in the corner where they could be alone to talk and just enjoy each other's company... "Oh, yeah, sure," How long had she been zoning out?

Eli smiled sweetly. "Watermelon and coconut sorbet, right?" Nozomi couldn't help but grin, shoving all troubles away momentarily.

"You know me so well~"

"Hehe.. Of course," The blonde set her bag down under the table, just at Nozomi's feet, and pulled out her purse, a lilac one with gold trims that Nozomi had given her as a Christmas present last year, before turning to head to the serving counter.

"Isn't it my turn to pay?" Nozomi asked, hand poised over her bag as she had been leaning down to retrieve her purse, to which Eli simply shook her head.

"I'll pay for today's. You just make yourself comfortable, and I shouldn't be to long," The blonde smiled ever so warmly at her, and even though she wanted to protest, Nozomi just melted and gave in without a second thought. Eli, seeing that there would be no further protests, chuckled and left. Nozomi watched her weaving in between the close, mostly empty tables and arrive at the serving counter where she gave their orders with such smooth confidence and then waited patiently whilst the employees made them up in the kitchen located in the back of the shop. The blonde rested her elbow rested gently on the counter and she looked round only to meet Nozomi's gaze. She flashed her a dazzling smile that only Eli Ayase could pull off, and the purple haired third year felt her cheeks warm up at the sight. It didn't go unnoticed by her girlfriend who visibly grinned before turning away to face the counter. Nozomi watched her every movement and from there, couldn't help but look the blonde up and down in utter amazement. How someone so beautiful and brilliant had chosen her to be with was forever a mystery to her.

...

She felt it the moment she saw her.

A few months after the horrible event that was her graduation from middle school, Nozomi found herself standing at the entrance to Otonokizaka Academy for Girls. Her hair was done in flowing pigtails, her uniform fresh and comfortable on her as her light blue ribbon flapping gently against her thumping chest as she stared longingly at the entrance in the distance. It offered a fresh start, one that she certainly needed.

After that fateful day, the Tojo family had prepared plans to move to Indonesia. Their company branch over there wasn't coping fairly well and something had to be done about it as quickly as possible so Mr and Mrs Tojo had immediately arranged a new house to stay in there and were currently in the process of packing up their belongings. They planned to leave after the first month of Nozomi's first year of high school. It wasn't practical leaving at a vital point in Nozomi's life, but there was nothing they could do.

Nozomi still hadn't found motivation to be excited for high school. There was an upside however, such as the fact that her parents had allowed her to attend a school that was further away from the original school that everyone else from her middle school planned to go to, so at least she was free from the people that caused her utter misery for the last few years of her life. But she didn't know what lay beyond those entrance gates. The people at Otonokizaka could be just as bad.

A bell rang sharply around the courtyard, violently jerking Nozomi out of her thoughts. Fellow students surrounding her with either the same ribbon colour or a different one started to head in the direction of the school building. The purple haired girl sighed and joined the throng, hitching her bag further up her shoulder to make it more secure and walked through the doors.

She found herself sitting in the middle of the class, a drastic change from usually being at the back. She was seated between two girls who seemed to be childhood friends that talked across her like she was invisible. She didn't say a word; she was used to it. She glanced around behind her and met the gaze of a petite girl with Raven hair done in twin-tails secured with big red ribbons. They made her ruby eyes stand out. She wanted to open her mouth and say something to her, but nervousness consumed her. The girl simply looked away with a huff anyway. Nozomi turned back round in her seat, facing the blonde girl's back in front of her as the teacher started talking. Her words were barely interesting, until she said that before they went to the hall for the entrance ceremony, she wanted everyone to introduce themselves properly to the whole class. Nozomi gulped. Not so distant memories of her middle school graduation filled her mind.

The teacher started from the very front and worked her way back in a sort of zigzag down the rows. Nozomi sat there, biting her nails and trembling as she waited for the dreaded moment when it was her turn. She felt like curling up into a ball when the girl in front of her was called, until she spoke.

"My name is Eli Ayase. I hope we can all get along this year," Nozomi felt her heart stop. The blonde was standing up from her seat, looking around the room and making eye contact with everyone. She didn't wear a smile. She wore a light frown, though her crystal blue eyes sparkled along with her golden ponytail. Nozomi had never seen anyone as beautiful.

"Excuse me?" The teacher pulled her out of her daze and Nozomi realised that the blonde, Eli Ayase (a beautiful name for a beautiful girl), had sat down already and the teacher was signalling that it was her turn. She quickly stood up, her cheeks slightly red, and garbled her name before sitting down. She turned to the front only to discover that Eli's eyes were on her. The red colouring in her cheeks only reddened, before the blonde noticed her staring back and quickly turned around with a frown similar to the one she presented herself with to the class.

Nozomi didn't care however. Her heart pounded and her stomach fluttered, and she knew she was in love all over again.

Days passed, soon turning to weeks and the time Nozomi had left at Otonokizaka was growing thin. But that fact was barely ever present in her mind when she was at school. Instead she found herself more focused on Eli Ayase, who she indiscreetly followed around the school corridors whenever she could. It was creepy and probably wrong, but Nozomi couldn't help herself. Eli was just too pretty to ignore, and it didn't help that she knew exactly why she couldn't keep her heartbeat under control whenever she was even slightly near her.

She wanted to talk to her, of course she did, but she had noticed how the blonde behaved around people. Of course due to her slim figure and beautiful appearance, she was instantly marked as the popular type and everyone tried to become friends with her. The key word being tried. Eli didn't seem to want to be involved with people, always turning down their generous offers of going into town after school, studying with them or joining a club together and would walk away with her head held high and that permanent frown on her lips. She appeared uptight and unfriendly, wanting to stay as far away from social interaction as possible unless required. This only intrigued Nozomi even more. Why was Eli so against becoming friends and getting close to people, when that was all Nozomi had ever wanted? The blonde had the opportunity to interact, yet she refused to partake. She was different, and Nozomi liked that.

One day, fate was on her side. She found herself following Eli after school, her mind plagued with the latest encounter she had witnessed between the blonde and a sweet girl in their class named Akari. The brunette had kindly, yet shyly, asked her if she wanted to study in the library together and Eli had barely seemed to process the request before frowning and turning away, a slightly harsh no leaving her lips. Akari had never looked so upset in that moment, and even though Nozomi felt her heart ache a little for the girl, she was more interested in watching Eli walk away, numerous students in the corridor staring at her in disbelief and slight anger at how easily she had shot down an act of kindness. No words were said, but it was obvious that despite everyone thinking she was pretty looking, she didn't have a sweet personality to match.

It actually annoyed Nozomi as to why Eli behaved like that. She didn't have to, so why?!

"Um!" The word left her mouth before her brain could catch up. Eli turned around immediately, a glare present, and Nozomi felt her feet root themselves to her spot on the stairs. She met Eli's eyes, those blue orbs that seemed so dull, and she wanted to make them sparkle. Looking at her lips, at that forever present frown, she wanted to make her smile.

"Yes? Can I help you?" Words had never sounded so musical to her ears.

"I... I..." She pushed her thundering heartbeat and fluttering butterflies to the back of her mind. "I'm Nozomi Tojo." A small smile breached her lips.

...

"We've been together ever since..." Nozomi whispered to herself, a smile making its way onto her lips. Her eyes wandered to the blonde still waiting at the counter. Yeah, they had been together a long time. Her friendship with Eli had only grown since that day they first officially met. She remembered how shocked Eli had been on that day at someone new approaching her, and even though the blonde had pulled her usual retreating act, Nozomi had strangely pushed past her comfort zone and stuck like glue. Eli just couldn't get rid of her, and day after day, she slowly started to come out of her distant shell. She slowly started to let Nozomi in, let her get to know her and they started bonding. It shocked not just Nozomi and the rest of their classmates, but it seemed to also shock Eli herself.

Eventually, Nozomi learned everything there was to know about Eli. All her little quirks, the fact that she was quarter Russian, she has a little sister, she loves chocolate... It felt nice to get to know someone, and Nozomi always felt secure around her. She felt like this time it wouldn't end in heartbreak.

She could never change how much Eli had impacted her life, even if she wanted to. After all, Nozomi had chosen her over Indonesia.

Her parents had been shocked and slightly distraught when she told them that she wanted to stay in Tokyo and continue to attend Otonokizaka Academy. Her father told her she was crazy and would she not rather attend a different school in Indonesia? Her mother asked her the reason, and Nozomi only partially lied by explaining that she didn't like moving all the time and wanted to stay somewhere and study properly. Her explanation was taken into account by her parents and though they disagreed a number of times on a number of things, they did agree on their daughter's happiness.

Saying goodbye was one of the most terrible things ever, and Nozomi remained waving as the car drove off followed by the removal van many minutes after they were long gone. Her parents had purchased a small apartment for her to live in, and had left some of their furniture that they decided in the end they wouldn't need. They had also left a large amount of money and supplies. She was grateful and happy, but she couldn't help but feel guilty for the pain on her parents' faces. The next day after that, she met up with Eli at school. The blonde was running late and it was obvious due to her rumpled uniform, unbuttoned blazer, shabby ponytail and bread crumbs on her face. For someone so organized, she was completely unorganized. Nozomi had simply laughed whilst fixing the blonde who laughed sheepishly with red tinted cheeks. And as they walked to school together, Nozomi decided that she had made the right choice.

It didn't bother Nozomi of course as she had chosen to stay in Tokyo three years ago for her own happiness. She was happy staying with Eli, and later she became even more happy when she met her friends in Muse. But what really made her happy was when after two years of falling further and further in love with Eli, the blonde confessed and returned her feelings. It made Nozomi feel complete, and for the first time ever, someone accepted her for who she was. Eli didn't frown upon her or call her horrible names or bully her as she was the exact same. She couldn't describe how nice it felt to be with someone that was just like her...

"Oh my god, is that who I think it is?!"

Nozomi was snapped out of her pleasant flashback with a high pitched voice, and when she glanced round to take a peek at who was shrieking, she couldn't express the immediate horror she felt because standing at the table behind her was the one of the three people she had never wanted to see again. Their eyes locked, and a smirk she was all too familiar with crossed the girl's face.

"Oh my god, it is her!" The dread set in more and more as Reika Mizuno, the girl who trampled on her heart every day in middle school, approached her table. The horrible smirk widened as she came to a stop in front of the table. "Well, well, if it isn't Queen of the Lesbians Nozomi Tojo. It's been quite a while since I've seen you. Did you run away?"

There was a small chorus of giggles and it was only then that Nozomi noticed that Reika wasn't alone. Yuki Akiga snickered as she played with her hair, just like she always had back in middle school whilst Nozomi met gazes with Ai Tamura, who hadn't changed a bit. The other girl briefly stared at her, an unreadable emotion in her eyes, before she went back to tittering along with Yuki at Reika's side.

"Of course you did, why would you stay? No one wanted you around. Everyone was so relieved when we started at UTX and noticed that you weren't there; we were all jumping with joy. Though it did become a little lonely when we realised we had no one to tease..." The pitying look on Reika's face was disgusting, and the fact that she still enjoyed making people suffer made Nozomi want nothing more than to slap her. But she didn't. She stayed rooted in her seat, ears burning and trembling.

"Look, she's trembling!" Ai pointed out, and Yuki laughed even louder.

"It's probably just her lesbian urges kicking in. It must be you, Ai, I would watch out!"

The tears were building up slowly in Nozomi's eyes and the third year felt like pushing past them and running away again. She had thought she had put this all behind her, but her mind was still plagued with it, had been all day and it was killing her. She had thought that now that she was away from them and with Eli and the rest of Muse that she could be put at ease and accept herself. But now her worst nightmare was coming true and she could only sit there looking down at her lap and clutch her skirt tightly whilst her ears burned and her eyes watered.

"Excuse me, is there a problem?"

Nozomi's head shot up from her lap and she was greeted with the most welcoming sight on Earth. Eli stood beside the three girls, purse under her right arm whilst balancing a tray holding two colourful parfaits and spoons, an unamused frown on her face.

"No, not at all! We were just talking to our friend here," Reika immediately feigned ignorance whilst Ai and Yuki nodded along. Nozomi didn't say a word, but she didn't have to for Eli to know that they were lying.

"Really? It didn't sound like it. In fact, it sounded like you were bullying her and I'm pretty sure friends aren't supposed to bully each other." Eli looked to Nozomi and the purple haired girl felt her breath hitch in her throat. Eli stared at her, clearly wanting an explanation, but the blonde turned back to the three girls who were staring at her with disbelief. "Also, I've never heard of you before. I'm sure if you were friends, then Nozomi would have mentioned you at least once."

Nozomi felt her heart sink lower and lower as she felt the three equal glares upon her.

"Wait, you know her?!" Reika shrieked, her voice rising again. Eli nodded immediately.

"Yes, though I wouldn't need to know her to defend her right now."

Reika seemed to barely consider the blonde's words and instead smirked at Nozomi. "Haha, that's crazy! You finally sunk your claws into someone and got them to stay; how terrific for you. It's a miracle actually-"

"That's enough." Eli's tone was threatening and her glare was icy. Reika actually looked a little uneasy, but she instantly shrugged it off as the confidence radiated from her with a simple smirk and raised eyebrow.

"Haha, that's cute. What are you going to teach her next, Nozomi? How to become disowned? How to be a pathetic loser? How to-"

"I said that's enough!" Eli snapped, and Reika visibly looked startled at the blonde's outburst. She opened her mouth, searching for a retort as she did so, but Eli didn't give her the time to answer as she placed the Parfait tray down on the table and faced the three girls head on. "I don't care who you are or how you know Nozomi, but if you think you can just come in here and start talking to her like that then you are dead wrong. I will not stand by and watch you belittle my best friend! Nozomi is a sweet, kind and caring person who has done so much for the people around her. It's your problem if you can't see that, so don't bring it in here and try to start trouble!"

Everyone was silent. Reika, Ai and Yuki's eyes were wide open as were Nozomi's as she glanced around with bright red cheeks to notice that the staff were watching, probably to see what was going on and if they had to intervene. Though with the way Eli was handling the situation, she doubted they would have to get involved. The blonde was still in the same position, eyes burning with anger and fists curled tightly against her sides as her infamous frown remained unmoving. Words could not describe how Nozomi felt; her whole face was on fire as her heart hammered against her ribcage as she tried to calm her nerves. She never imagined that this would happen, ever. Her girlfriend clashing with her childhood bullies, it was utter chaos.

"B-Best friend? We never knew Nozomi had any of those," Reika stammered, turning to Ai and Yuki who looked just as nervous. "A-Are you sure she's not just corrupted you into being her little toy?"

Words could not describe how angered Eli looked as her cheeks went bright red with rage and she stepped forward, poking a finger straight in Reika's chest.

"Now you listen here, whatever your name is. I don't care what you think you know about Nozomi or me because I know that I'm not corrupted in the slightest. How dare you insinuate that she's manipulating me!" It was so different seeing Eli so angry when she was usually a calm and collected person. But Nozomi couldn't help but feel special in that moment. Eli was potentially risking getting herself banned for causing a disturbance and was sticking up for her so kindly when she could've just stood there like everyone else had previously in her life when she had been bullied.

Except Eli was different. She cared and was so kind that she was defending her head on. She had never treated Nozomi as any less than a normal person, an equal, and looked out for her so much. It made her heart clench with what could only be recognised as love. She would never be able to express her gratitude.

"Now, if you're quite done, I'd like to have dessert with my girlfriend," Eli finished, and swiftly moved to sit down across from Nozomi who still didn't utter a word. She didn't even need to look round to know that Reika, Ai and Yuki were gobsmacked.

"Y-You're Nozomi's g-girlfriend?!" Reika shrieked, pointing a finger rather rudely. "But that's impossible! You look too pretty to be someone like her!" Yuki nodded in agreement and Ai stood awkwardly at the back of the trio now as if she wanted to immediately leave and never come back.

Eli rolled her eyes. "Appearances have nothing to do with love, thank you very much, and I like being who I am. It's much better than being someone like you; selfish and immature." The two met eyes. "I've already said that we'd like to be left in peace," Those were her final words on the matter, and even Reika could see that as she stammered a quick 'let's go' to Ai and Yuki before the three of them hurried out of the building and out of sight.

Nozomi was glad to see the back of them, and she felt that this was the last she would see of them, probably for the rest of her life. She looked away from the door and back to Eli who was now strangely quiet as she stared down at her mint chocolate Parfait. Nozomi stared down at her own, suddenly feeling ashamed of basically being the cause of the whole ordeal. She wanted to thank Eli for going through all that with her, but it seemed like the blonde wasn't up for talking. Maybe she should just go-

"Nozomi."

The purple haired girl felt herself tense up at her name being spoke slightly cold, but didn't have the courage to look up to see the face to match.

"Why didn't you tell me about those girls?"

Silence remained between them until Eli spoke again.

"Are we not best friends? Girlfriends, even? So why would you keep this from me? You were getting bullied and I had no idea... Why didn't you tell me?"

Nozomi didn't reply, her ears ringing and her heart thumping. She heard Eli grit her teeth.

"Why?!" The tone was more on the harsh side and Nozomi couldn't bear it anymore.

"Because I couldn't! I didn't tell you about them because I thought I'd never see them again! I couldn't tell you because I'm still trying to get over what happened!" By the time she was finished, she was panting a little and she could see the shock on Eli's face due to her outburst. She immediately felt guilty for it.

"...What did happen, Nozomi?" The blonde asked after a moment. Both third years looked up and made eye contact. Gone was the harshness and the hurt that Nozomi hadn't failed to notice, replaced with that care and love that never failed to make Nozomi feel special. "...If you don't want to tell me everything, you don't have to. Just tell me something so I can help," A gentle smile graced her lips. "I love you, so you can tell me anything,"

Nozomi stared at her with utter relief and admiration. Someone was willing to listen to her, someone wanted to try and take the hurt away that she had been silently harbouring for years. Eli was that someone.

Ever since they first met, Nozomi had thought that Eli was the one for her. She knew that she was intrigued for various reasons, but deeper down she realised that she was always going to fall in love with Eli in the end. It even felt right to say that it was destiny; her tarot cards never lied after all. And looking at the blonde right now only confirmed her belief.

So with a shaky start, Nozomi found herself telling Eli everything.

...

"Thank you very much!"

The bell above the door pinged softly and the door itself made a small clatter as it closed.

"That was amazing as always, wasn't it?"

"Yup, they never fail to impress me,"

The wind whistled and shook the trees, cherry blossoms falling slowly from the branches and onto the empty pavements.

The rest of the journey was spent in silence, the feeling of their hands intertwined being enough to satisfy them. One hand was cold, and the other was warm. The other only squeezed tighter.

They reached the apartment and one of them made to disconnect to go inside, but the other held tighter still.

"Nozomi..."

"What is it, Elicchi? As much as I'd love to stay with you, I should really be starting my homework. It's for tomorrow, you know?"

"...I know it's hard, but please don't hesitate to tell me something."

"..."

"Even if it's just a small thing that's bothering you, please let me know. You're important to me, no matter what those horrible girls think,"

"...Thank you, Elicchi,"

"I love you, so much. Don't ever forget that, ok?"

"I won't, because I love you just as much, maybe even more."

The two shared loving smiles and gazes as Eli finally let go. Their hands instantly felt bare, but it was all right. They would be doing the exact same thing tomorrow, and hopefully for both of them, in the future as well.

Eli turned to leave, her smile burned brightly into Nozomi's mind as she waved and walked down the stairs. Nozomi waved back with a smile the exact same, until the blonde was gone from sight.

The smile still on her face, she turned around and unlocked her apartment.


End file.
